Nursing School is not for the faint of heart

In my life I’ve done a lot of things that I thought was hard. Nothing compares to being a first semester nursing student. I don’t really think it matters which path you take upon acceptance into a nursing program, there is nothing that can prepare you for the way your life will change. Sleepless nights, billions of dollars spent (it seems like) on note cards, books that weigh almost as much as you do, the impossible search in a small town for a bag, any bag with wheels so that you don’t have to carry the aforementioned books. It’s a lot!!! That’s not including the hours spent studying the constant need to take your books with you everywhere you go so that if you get a spare moment somewhere you can look up something or study a little more. The funny part is I LOVE it. It’s a struggle, I’m still trying to find my groove and figure out how it all works but I love it. I love the things I’m learning and I know that the end prize is way better than the current mental discomfort.

With all of that said I am sorry that I’ve neglected this blog for so long but I’m swimming in school. I will try to post more often even if it’s just a random picture but I will make no promises.

A time of solitude

When we moved back to Alabama I expected a period of adjustment and a few months of piece as all if my school transfer stuff took effect. I didn’t count on the heartbreak, loneliness, and feelings of utter helplessness that would come along with this move. Now here I am a few months after our move feeling alone. There are people all around who know me fairly well but there are still large homes in my heart and in my being. I’m learning now to stop depending so much on others and to reevaluate the things that are most important to me. I’m gushing some goals, setting some new ones and lowering the bar on others. Some people see a period of solitude as a good thing for the most part I guess it is but at the same time it REALLY SUCKS!!!! I’m use to being able to go and do on a whim and now I’m constricted and confined in what I am able to do and where I go. I’m trying to stay positive but I’m really unhappy in this stage of the cycle. I’m ready for this part to be over so I can get on with all the things I want to do with my life. Who knows maybe there’s some super wonderful reward on the other side that I’ve not even imagined right now I’m not seeing or feeling it though. I’m seeing all the trees and no forest while wondering how in the world I let myself get in this place to begin with.

Period of adjustment

A few months ago when my husband and I agreed to move back to his hometown we looked forward to it as a way of getting back to our roots, where we came from as a family what we weren’t ready for was seriously starting over. In the 4 or 5 months that we’ve been here we’ve had to start all the back at ground zero. We are still rebuilding and replacing things that were lost. I’m choosing to look at it as par for the course but its still hard looking back at what we had and seeing where we are now. I’m much happier in the laid back atmosphere of this place and my children are flourishing but at the same time I miss the people who were central to my being that got left behind. Namely my sister and oldest son. There are some days the whole in my heart is almost tangible and other days that it’s just a dull ache. I’m keeping in touch but its not the same as getting in my car and having a visit. I know deep down that in the end the sacrifices made now will be worth it but right now I can’t see it. I’m trying really hard to focus on what’s ahead but I don’t want to forget what was behind. I don’t want to forget the shuttles we went through and the things that are shaping our futures.  Every new experience comes with a period of adjustment some shorter than others……I hope every day that all this will pass quickly but every day that I don’t see the progress that I would like to see it feels like we’ll be in this place forever. This too shall pass and it will be all sunshine and morning glories in the other side and I will look back on this time and say ok we made it through that so we can make it through any and everything.

Period of adjustment

A few months ago when my husband and I agreed to move back to his hometown we looked forward to it as a way of getting back to our roots, where we came from as a family what we weren’t ready for was seriously starting over. In the 4 or 5 months that we’ve been here we’ve had to start all the back at ground zero. We are still rebuilding and replacing things that were lost. I’m choosing to look at it as par for the course but its still hard looking back at what we had and seeing where we are now. I’m much happier in the laid back atmosphere of this place and my children are flourishing but at the same time I miss the people who were central to my being that got left behind. Namely my sister and oldest son. There are some days the whole in my heart is almost tangible and other days that it’s just a dull ache. I’m keeping in touch but its not the same as getting in my car and having a visit. I know deep down that in the end the sacrifices made now will be worth it but right now I can’t see it. I’m trying really hard to focus on what’s ahead but I don’t want to forget what was behind. I don’t want to forget the shuttles we went through and the things that are shaping our futures.  Every new experience comes with a period of adjustment some shorter than others……I hope every day that all this will pass quickly but every day that I don’t see the progress that I would like to see it feels like we’ll be in this place forever. This too shall pass and it will be all sunshine and morning glories in the other side and I will look back on this time and say ok we made it through that so we can make it through any and everything.

Fall

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There are some things about being in the South that are truly amazing. One such thing would be fall, with the explosion of colors and the way the leaves fall and settle on the ground (or in the case of where I live dirt roads). I hope you all enjoy these pictures.

Reliving a lost art

Today my heart was made glad by a seemingly normal event. My daughter got some fan mail from her friends in Seattle by way of the United States postal service. In other words she got some letters in the mail. Normally it’s not that big of a deal I just thought it was so cool that instead if email or text or any of the other social media devices that are available today this group of 12 & 13 year old girls choose snail mail.
It brought to mind so many years past when my friends and I would write letters when separated by distance or summer break. It makes me glad to think that perhaps all will not be lost with younger generations. Perhaps they will keep some of the old art forms alive such as letter writing.