Realization

Yesterday was a very busy day for me. I started my day with the express intent of studying and doing test but seeing as it was yet another beautiful day here in Western Washington I studied then went and played in the sun with my family for awhile. A great time was had by all until we got home and I realized there was still much that I personally needed to do. I do not for a single second regret the time spent with my husband and kids at the beach I do however regret waiting until the last few hours to finish my school work before the deadline. As I went to bed last night I thought about something…..I have made a decision to go back to school to make a better life for my family and myself; I’ve chosen a career that requires a lot of attention to detail, time and effort but here I am bearly getting by. I’m doing the minimum of what I’m capable of doing and pretending like it’s good enough. I push my children who are in school to do their absolute very best in everything – that way if nothing else they can say I gave it my all – but here I am doing just the opposite. They see my lug my books around from one room to the other but when it comes time for  real studying, the kind that will help me be successful in the long run I’m not doing it. I could act like my school age children and make excuses for why I’m not doing it but the only person I’m hurting is me. I know better and I know I can do better.

So…….starting just as soon as I’m finished with this blog post I’m going to do the things I’ve been putting off. I’m go to review the chapters that I’ve read so that the ones I’ve started on will make more sense. I will push myself to produce the best work I know I am capable of – that way in the end I can say I gave it my best and look how great I’ve done.

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