Archive | September 2012

Stop waiting

Stop waiting for someone else to tell you you’re beautiful – tell yourself then go one step further believe yourself. After you’ve told yourself and while you’re working up to believing it make sure you do it everyday. Belief in oneself, and self image are not things that others can give you or that others can validate for you. This is a gift only you can give to yourself. On the days you don’t feel beautiful find just one thing to love about yourself that day and hang on to it.

This is going to be my new daily chore. I’ve let myself go for far to long hiding behind “I’m a stay at home mom I don’t need to get fixed up.” Somewhere after years of this I’ve forgotten how beatiful I am to myself. It’s not my husband or my childrens job to tell me how pretty I look, it’s my job to feel it. If I feel it they will see it. I’m talking beyond makeup and playing dress up with your clothes and accessories. I’m talking inner beauty that radiates to the outside when this is achieved all the other things will fall in place.

For some this is a long hard journey, for others it’s just a matyer of getting back in touch with youself. Whichever or where ever you find yourself in that spectrum do it – do it for yourself.

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Hairs the thing

I HATE hair! Really I do. I don’t like all the maintence, the cost and especally not the hassle. What makes me hate hair even more on is on a daily basis I deal with 3 sometimes 4 different types. Annoying!!!

Currently the issue I have with mine is quite simple. I’ve stopped chemicals on mine. I decided one day all the damage done to my hair in the name of straightness isn’t worth the long term effects so I went cold turkey. Now to maintain straightness I flat iron it once a week. I wash it one day, pull it back in a tight pony tail then flat iron it the next day when it’s dry. I don’t have long hair but it already takes me an hour to get my hair done. It’s annoying but….at the same time I now have this beatiful healthy hair that’s growing. It’s silky and pretty. There is such a difference in it now even my husband has noticed.

I guess it’s worth it but it’s still annoying, it’s still a hassle and I’d still prefer a super short cut (but when I have super short cuts I want longer hair it’s a never ending annoying cycle) so I guess I’ll just keep on letting it grow and keep doing what I’m doing cuz even though I hate hair I like how mine looks and feels right now.

Learning to love ………….me

It’s been a long time coming. I’m getting to a point where the fact that my apparent youth has vanished I’m by no means saying that I’m not still youthful (with four kids ranging from 16 to 3 it’s hard NOT to be) but I’m no longer a youth. With that comes the fact that not everything is where it was 20 years ago, 20 months ago, 20 weeks ago, 20 days ago, 20 minutes ago or even 20 seconds ago.

There is a saying “Beauty comes with age.” A lot of people take that the wrong way. I for one did when I was younger I was beautiful then so how could beauty possibly come with age – I’ve learned it’s inner beauty that matures over time. It’s getting to where I am now.

In roughly 38 years my body has been through a lot some good some not so much. I have scars that although I don’t like they served a purpose 3 brought life, 2 saved my life and 1 brought with it immunity to a serious disease. Just this week however I’ve figured out that it’s ok for me not to have a wash board belly. My lumps and bumps are part of me. The media and some in society may view them as flaws however, I am now choosing to view them as real world experience by a real person.

I’m sure if I had the money to have a personal trainer I’d probably do it. It would be nice to have a flatter belly and a generally more sculpted body but everyday I’m becoming more and more comfortable with who I am now and starting to loose more of that starry eyed image of myself back then. There are things that I’m doing to improve and maintain my health but I’m not going to kill myself or starve myself  just to make others be ok with how I look. So the day I become famous and can afford that trainer and to have all of my pictures airbrushed to hide any “imperfections” I’m just gonna keep on being me, lumpy, bumpy gravity defying (in some spots) me and LOVE every minute of it!

Getting ready

This weekend marks my last week of summer. I actually have one full week left but beginning on Monday I start packing for our early October move. The week of the 24th marks my return to school and a loaded fall quarter schedule. It’s been an enjoyable summer break sort of but I’m actually looking forward to going back to school. I now have a better idea of what’s required so I have grand plans to not make the same mistakes I made summer quarter.

Right now I’m trying to assemble the minions for the adventures of the day. Summer has decided to extend itself here in normally soaking wet western Washington so we’re gonna get out the house and do something outdoors. The nice weather will be a memory here pretty soon so I think a little extra natural vitamin D now is probably a good thing.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.

No sick days

I am a stay at home mom which means when I get sick the world as my crew knows it ceases to revolve. Nothing gets done, no one can find anything, and I don’t get any rest. That’s pretty much been the case this week. Monday I was fine, Tuesday I was in horrible shape. I was wearing a winter coat in 70 degree weather, I had on my thickest pajama pants and a hoody and I was still freezing. My legs hurt so bad I couldn’t stand and all I wanted to do was sleep. Luckily my husband took pity on me and at 8:30 I was out like a light. Granted the house wasn’t perfect but it was a sight better to what I woke up to Wednesday morning. My two youngest boys had drug the laundry out into the hallway, the youngest had dumped two bags of popcorn on the floor, there was food all over the place and home was totally unrecognizable. So as my daughter got ready for school I cleaned up. I still wasn’t 100% but I was well enough to get my house cleaned up before someone fell and broke their head. The fever is gone and for the most part so is the stuffy nose but I’ve got this chest hurting cough that comes and goes. Although I’m not moving about at the speed of light I can tell that had the majority of my illness lasted more than a day this household would of been screwed.

Security

Security is a funny thing. When you feel secure in your little world it’s as if nothing can touch or hurt you but the minute that feeling of security is rattled it makes you almost paranoid. If there is a test of your security it makes you really think about what’s going on around you until you again feel like you are standing on level ground. What’s a real eye opener is when there is a test of security and the person that you depend on to help make you feel secure fails to respond. It’s one of those things that makes you go why am I with this person?!

I understand that sometimes a persons job makes it so they aren’t able to be there but you still have that understanding that if something happens they will move hell or high water to make it to you just as soon as they can- when there is little or no response it’s very unsettling. It makes you wonder what is this person up to that is more important than home?

I’m glad these tests don’t happen often and I’m glad to know that there are people around that I can depend upon but I’m also thinking now that maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much to have just a little added protection around just in case……I think a can of wasp spray or mace would do the trick nicely along with (yet another) metal baseball bat (for some reason my metal bats seem to disappear). When it comes to making sure my children feel safe and secure at home I’m willing to go the extra mile – I guess that’s just the Momma Bear in me 🙂

Hopefully everyone is feeling safe and secure today.