Dear Supermom cape, I’ve worn you well. We’ve seen times good and bad, you’ve been worn, mended, remended, but never replaced but I’ve come to realize It’s time for me to hang you up. I’m a mom this fact won’t change, I’m a wife this also won’t change but no longer will I have sole responsibility for EVERYTHING in this home placed on my shoulders.
I am ONE mom, ONE woman I can’t and won’t do everything. In light of that its time to say goodbye. You will always be a part of me better or worse but no more will you be the biggest part. Rest well, you deserve it.
Yesterday was a very busy day for me. I started my day with the express intent of studying and doing test but seeing as it was yet another beautiful day here in Western Washington I studied then went and played in the sun with my family for awhile. A great time was had by all until we got home and I realized there was still much that I personally needed to do. I do not for a single second regret the time spent with my husband and kids at the beach I do however regret waiting until the last few hours to finish my school work before the deadline. As I went to bed last night I thought about something…..I have made a decision to go back to school to make a better life for my family and myself; I’ve chosen a career that requires a lot of attention to detail, time and effort but here I am bearly getting by. I’m doing the minimum of what I’m capable of doing and pretending like it’s good enough. I push my children who are in school to do their absolute very best in everything – that way if nothing else they can say I gave it my all – but here I am doing just the opposite. They see my lug my books around from one room to the other but when it comes time for real studying, the kind that will help me be successful in the long run I’m not doing it. I could act like my school age children and make excuses for why I’m not doing it but the only person I’m hurting is me. I know better and I know I can do better.
So…….starting just as soon as I’m finished with this blog post I’m going to do the things I’ve been putting off. I’m go to review the chapters that I’ve read so that the ones I’ve started on will make more sense. I will push myself to produce the best work I know I am capable of – that way in the end Ican say I gave itmy best and look how great I’ve done.
It comes in all forms. Some people say they deal with it better than others, other people say they don’t deal well at all. I’m kind of in the middle. You can’t always avoid it…..at some point something will happen that will stress you out and then the question becomes not how do you deal but how well do you cope. Here lately every little thing has gotten on my nerves….I mean that seriously……EVERYTHING. I know it stems from me not getting enough rest, which stems from me being stressed. As many of you have read we have had head injury week in my camp with two of the crew getting concussions within days of each other. My daughters was labeled as mild but she’s still getting killer headaches and my husband is back on the horse, back in the groove, doin his thing. Then there is me…over on the sidelines trying very hard to find a compartment in my overloaded overdrive to put this week and I’m coming up with nothing. I maintain a face of strength in the storm because that’s who I am and that’s what I do but right now I would like nothing more than to cave under the pressure and cry like,a baby. It won’t sokve anything but I might feel a little better about me. So I say again……the question is how do you cope and right now I would have to say on a scale of 1 to 10 I’m at a -2. Hope everyone else had a good week, if not take comfort in the fact tomorrow is a new day 🙂