Dear Supermom cape, I’ve worn you well. We’ve seen times good and bad, you’ve been worn, mended, remended, but never replaced but I’ve come to realize It’s time for me to hang you up. I’m a mom this fact won’t change, I’m a wife this also won’t change but no longer will I have sole responsibility for EVERYTHING in this home placed on my shoulders.
I am ONE mom, ONE woman I can’t and won’t do everything. In light of that its time to say goodbye. You will always be a part of me better or worse but no more will you be the biggest part. Rest well, you deserve it.
Have you ever heard the expression kick me while their down? Well that’s where I am. Currently I feel as if I’m so far down I won’t ever get up again and every time I think ah, relief something or someone else comes along and kicks the wind right out of me.
I’m just wondering if I’ll ever catch a break. I just want to……breathe. More than anything I want to get to the part where this place I’m in now is just a memory instead of a giant weight on my shoulders. It’s going to take time, patience and above all else the will to want to carry on. One of those things I’ve got the other two…not so much.
It’s in my nature to finish things that I start so I will see this thing through til the end but this part right here today SUCKS!!!
Wednesday will be two months since our two beloved pitties left us. In relative terms two months isn’t a very long time but currently it feels like a life time.
There are strange little things that remind us of Bruiser and Sarge like the way Bandit (our new puppy) runs and plays with his chew toys and just the other day when I cleaned the boys window I found Bruiser prints on the other side. Then as now I teared up, when the boys asked me what was wrong I said, “Look Bruisers paw prints are still on your window.” My 5 year old said we should never wash the window and my three year started looking for the dog we’d had since he’d learned how to walk.
I don’t think those two dogs will ever really know just how much they were loved not how hard their death has been on this family. There isn’t a single day that goes by that we don’t speak of them or miss them. I think they would have loved Bandit to pieces and it would of been great to see them all play together at least once but i know that will never happen.
Instead Bandit is reaping all the benefit of healing a broken hearted family. He gets showered in loves and kisses everyday, it’s a win for him and a win for us. We’re still broken and that piece if our hearts marked Bruiser and Sarge will never be whole again which is fine by me. I don’t want to ever forget the two dogs who captured my heart and stole it away.
We love and miss you two boys so so much. I hope wherever you are there’s lots of good treats and belly rubs and people to tell you how great you are.
I haven’t had much to write about lately. There been a lot going on but not much of it has been post worthy, just the ho hum of everyday life….. BORING!
I went downtown a couple of days ago and as I was walking along the waterfront with my son I looked out at the water and it made me think. This is what my life looks like right now from any angel you choose, rough, choppy water, grey and bleak but with a shadow of unmistakable beauty. Life isn’t always sunshine, lollipops and tulip fields. Sometimes it’s dark, grey, bleak and depressing but once you get through those spots the sun comes out and you will have leaned how to appreciate the clear days a little more.
Yesterday was one of the funniest days I’ve had in a long time. My body isn’t currently agreeing with me but it will soon also realize that yesterday was amazing! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I enjoyed going and taking these pictures. Enjoy 😊
A few days ago I took my two youngest boys to the park closest to where we live. It’s a really nice park, or could be if older teens didn’t ruin it for the little kids and community at large.
Shortly after getting to the park I noticed spray paint on the slide but couldn’t make out what it said until I got right to the slide. There were also the usual insults about others scrawled on various toys and of course the obligatory crude drawings of genitals.
Luckily for me my two little ones didn’t notice. They were just happy to have a nice enough day to go to the park and play, but it made me sad. Why is it that kids feel it ok to deface public places that smaller kids frequent and do these kinds of things with absolutely no regard for the little kids that it has the potential to affect? Again I’m glad that my boys didn’t notice or if they did that they didn’t say anything. So I’ve decided to call the city and report the defacement but it would be nice if I could call the city instead to register a complient rather than a complaint.
(Due to the offensive nature of the things written I’ve chosen not to include any of those images but rather a happier one of my boys having a good time)
I just wanted to give a giant THANK YOU to all of you who read/ follow my blog. It means a lot to know that my random musings and sometimes poor photography is being read and (hopefully) enjoyed by others.