I’ve spent the last 18 or so years of my life trying to decided what I’m going to be when I grow up. I’ve tried on a few hats found some things I excel at, found even more things I suck at…but I still haven’t found that thing that brings a smile to my face every time I head out the door. I know its out there somewhere because we’ve met before. The only problem is the job that use to make me so happy got rolled into another job, that got rolled into another job and at some point I gave up on trying to keep up.
So here I am again…back at square one but this time I’m being grown up (aka smart) about it. This time I’m going to school to be something that people will need in the days and years to come. I have another degree that I thought was a high demand high need type thing but then found out not so much….so this time I decided to springboard myself. I’m going to school for one thing to get my foot in the door then I’m going back in 2 years to get an advanced degree, which I can build upon from there. Smart huh? Only thing is I’m not sure it will bring me the joy I’m looking for.
With 4 kids I understand the importance of working, without money we have no home, no food, no car, no clothes but at the same time I don’t want to just work. That leads to almost immediate burn out. I want to like what I’m doing and where I’m doing it at. I want to be able to leave each day with a since of satisfaction in myself for a job well done.
Is that asking to much? It’s possible but is that what I’m going to continue to strive for? You betcha! One day I will grow up (maybe) and when I do I will know how to do a whole bunch of things that may or may not come in handy. Hopefully sometime in between here and there I find whatever it is I’m looking for and am able to do it with all the joy and satisfaction my heart possesses.
Im currently standing in the kitchen if my home one frozen hand wrapped tightly around a freshly brewed cup of coffee as I reflect on what has already happened this morning and the hundreds of other things that I will do today as just a small part of my daily life and thought I would share.
Let’s start with bedtime – I went to bed at 1:30 this morning after finishing a paper in Eastern vs. Western cultural differences and fighting with a 3 year old who was quite insistant that I not worry he was only going to watch Thomas on Netflix. My first alarm went off at 6:15, I rolled myself out of bed 2minutes later to wake up my 11 year old so she could do whatever it is she does to get ready for school which this morning consisted of laying in bed until 6:35. At 6:40 I brewed a pot of coffee at 7 the second alarm went off. This is the official wake up the hubby/ time to get out the door for middle and high school kids alarm. Only problem this morning aforementioned middle schooler was still in the shower. 7:05 playing spider solitare on cellphone and getting annoyed made lunch for kindergartener. 7:20 (time 1st bell rings at school) finally walking out the door into an almost frozen state of cold wind. 7:30 drop now moody preteen off at school who is annoyed at me for not writting a tardy excuse but the rule is if its not my fault your late no excuse.
Anyhoo…..head back home (insert 1st cup of coffee and writting of this post) wake up hubby who is attempting to pretend he’s sleeping like the dead. Also wake up 5 year old which means peels of laughter. Make sure he has backpack with lunch in it and coat. Head out the door at 8:30. Gas light is on so put gas in van, go to store with still sleeping 3 year old who makes faces in his sleep in regards to the changing if temperatures. Go back home, open up medical terminology book, take 2 pages worth of notes when 3 year old awakes and asks to watch Thomas. Clean house (back permitting) think about how nice it would be to take a nap but 3 year old is in full play mode. Prepare to go pick kindergartener from school, then pick up now certifiably pissed off middle schooler who complains there’s nothing to eat. Gi back to the store simply because I know I had to have forgotten something for dinner. Go home. Help with homework( not mine – no one ever wants to help with mine) start dinner. Hubby isn’t home yet so set DVR to record his Monday night tv stuff. Make 5 and 3 year old put on PhD. Turn on kindle to try to read chapter for class. Put 5 year old in bed. Hour later tell 11year old to follow suit. Fight with 3 year old for next hour + to go to bed.
Finally get in bed, fall asleep almost instantly then alarm rings again……*sigh* a new day
Hope you enjoy yours 🙂
I know it’s been awhile but my life currently seems to be moving at the speed of light and I’m just standing in the way (or playing taxi – whichever is more convenient at the time). Since my last post I have successfully registered for my winter quarter classes, gotten approved for another funding source for school, applied for yet another one, gone to a great Special Olympics soccer tournament, attended my first high school wrestling meet and welcomed a new addition (and hopefully last) to our family. To those who know me, no I did not have yet another child unless you count the four legged kind. See, it’s been a busy kind of life for me and now I’m gearing up for the best time of the year ever – that’s right Christmas!!! What’s not to love??!!! With 4 kids ranging from almost 16 to just 2 we’ve gotten kind of creative with what Santa is bringing. There won’t be a lot of toys really they don’t need anymore. I think two overflowing toy boxes is enough toys for two boys- but there are sure to be smiles all around. Also this Christmas we are going back to an old family tradition of mine – a real tree. I’m super excited for that one!!! Hopefully da tree will just appear sometime in the next week and yes I will post pics until then meet our new little guy – Bruiser (ok so now it’s July and for some reason I thought this was published way back in December but it wasn’t so here it is 🙂 )
Yesterday was a very busy day for me. I started my day with the express intent of studying and doing test but seeing as it was yet another beautiful day here in Western Washington I studied then went and played in the sun with my family for awhile. A great time was had by all until we got home and I realized there was still much that I personally needed to do. I do not for a single second regret the time spent with my husband and kids at the beach I do however regret waiting until the last few hours to finish my school work before the deadline. As I went to bed last night I thought about something…..I have made a decision to go back to school to make a better life for my family and myself; I’ve chosen a career that requires a lot of attention to detail, time and effort but here I am bearly getting by. I’m doing the minimum of what I’m capable of doing and pretending like it’s good enough. I push my children who are in school to do their absolute very best in everything – that way if nothing else they can say I gave it my all – but here I am doing just the opposite. They see my lug my books around from one room to the other but when it comes time for real studying, the kind that will help me be successful in the long run I’m not doing it. I could act like my school age children and make excuses for why I’m not doing it but the only person I’m hurting is me. I know better and I know I can do better.
So…….starting just as soon as I’m finished with this blog post I’m going to do the things I’ve been putting off. I’m go to review the chapters that I’ve read so that the ones I’ve started on will make more sense. I will push myself to produce the best work I know I am capable of – that way in the end Ican say I gave itmy best and look how great I’ve done.
As I’m sure it’s been noted this was my first week back in school after 6 years and I gotta say I’d forgotten how difficult it can be to be in college. More so with two little ones at home begging for attention as soon as I walk in the door and not taking Mommy needs to study for an answer. My 4 year old has asked me at random times this week, “So are you a nurse yet?” Lol gotta love little minds. Anyhooo……by the time winter quarter is over I should be in shape and be sporting a somewhat bigger brain. In the meantime be sure I will post lots more pictures of the view from my school cuz it’s kind of awesome. What you can’t see in this picture is the Olympic mountain range… there was a blanket of clouds at the bottom so only the snow covered peaks were showing. Sometimes I feel so blessed to live in the Pacific Northwest. Have a great weekend ya’ll now that I’m awake it’s time to crack open the books again 🙂 and wait for the snow storm to hit.
Now you can see the mountains
I apologize for my lack of post for the last week. It’s been a very laid back low key week for me as it’s my last week before school starts. Monday should prove to be interesting, I am still waiting to see if I will get into my Biology class (praying that I do I am now down to number 9 so hopefully). This week has also been a bonding week for me and my sis (as is home – really should check out her blog good stuff I tell ya). She just came back home after being gone for a year. I missed that girl like crazy I’m not even going to lie. She’s been having a good time (I hope) hanging out with her niece and nephews and laughing daily at this comdey I star in called my home life. As you can see there really isn’t much going on here currently just real low key unless you count my mood swings……they’ve been driving everyone crazy especally me. Today will be ummmmm….. different. There is a desk in the garage that needs to make it’s way upstairs a kitchen table that needs to be cleaned and moved and then the hunt for a free office chair on Craigslist. I have signed on for the long haul mother load of studying for the next 2+ years – pray for me ya’ll. Until next time be well, tell those you love daily that you love them and never forget who you are.